“Who am I to tell them how to make decisions?”
This anxiety-induced thought played like a broken record in my head as my first leadership training event approached in my new role as a training director. Talking in front of 40 leaders, most of whom were older than my ripe old age of 30 at the time felt like the perfect opportunity for them to see right through my lack of expertise and expose me as the fraud I was.
Years ago, while working at a regional bank, I was promoted from trainer to leading a training team in another department. My prior roles as a sales trainer and human resources consultant allowed me to build a company-wide reputation as an expert on complicated sales processes and navigating employee benefits and hiring processes.
This new role pushed me out of the payment division into the retail branch banking side. In other words, it was way out of my comfort zone. And at this first training event, I could no longer rely on my expertise to help me feel safe, trusted, or relevant.
The Sky Parted
That first event was tough. Afterward, I admitted to my manager, “Who am I to tell them what to do? I’ve been a manager for about five minutes and most of these leaders have been managers for 15 years.”
The question she posed to me next transformed my relationship with expertise for a lifetime. She asked, “What if your job is not to be the expert up there, but to facilitate the expertise in the room?”
It was like the sky parted and the sun emerged. Of course that was the answer. Because I had been promoted throughout my career due to my level of expertise, it was natural for me to assume that in my new role, expertise was the only way I could add value.
Instead of being the expert, I had to rebrand myself as a leader who could facilitate, promote, and grow the expertise around her, whether it be in a training room, on my team, or even now leading my own coaching and speaking practice. Managers looking to break their identity as the expert and the go-to can benefit from undertaking a similar rebranding campaign.
People will likely continue to reach out to you, hoping for you to provide quick answers or jump in to help them fix an issue the way you used to. But it’s critical that you teach others how to see and use you in a new way so that you can advance to more strategic levels of leadership. This is easier said than done. After all, people have grown accustomed to your old ways of working.
Here are some common situations that can keep your stuck in the expert identity trap and some strategies to consider to avoid it.
THE GUILT TRAP
Moving into a new leadership role can sometimes unsettle colleagues accustomed to our old ways of working. They may (intentionally or not) attempt to elicit guilt, saying things like, “You used to do this for me” or “People are going to be upset about this change.”
While these concerns may be valid, your role is to redirect any resistance toward productive outcomes. A helpful response might be, “That’s true, and moving forward, my focus is on working on this strategic project development for my team.”
Here are some other questions you can ask to redirect their energy:
- I know I used to handle this issue. How can I help you get the resources you need to move forward?
- I could give you the answer and I would also love to help you self-source for future needs. Where have you looked so far?
- I understand that people may be upset that I’m not involved any longer. What ideas do you have to help support them moving forward?
THE HABIT TRAP
As I rose to new levels of leadership in my corporate roles, if I continued saying yes to too many requests to do the work myself, people would continue to expect this of me. As a result, I would have been too busy delivering training without enough time to plan for, coach, and develop my direct reports. It would also mean my team loses out on valuable development opportunities and meaningful work.
In every conversation, you have the opportunity to set the tone for your leadership, for the team, and for yourself. This includes expressing your expectations and having clear boundary conversations to redistribute and delegate work that is no longer yours. This might sound like:
- Jane handles this project now. I’d be happy to coordinate an introduction and handoff.
- Matt will be leading this initiative from now on. I’d be happy to schedule time for us to connect and coordinate transitions.
THE COMFORT TRAP
When you are promoted, comfort can get the best of your leaders if they continue assigning the same tasks as they did before the promotion. Because they value your speed and competence, this can hinder your growth in your new role.
To avoid this, proactive communication is key. In my experience making this shift, I proactively communicated with my leader by clearly defining which projects I’d handle personally and which I’d delegate. I also encouraged my leader to reset expectations with her peers, making it clear my team would take on more project work as I transitioned into higher-level responsibilities. Aligning with leadership across the organization ensures that both you and your team are positioned to grow into new opportunities. This might sound like:
- I’d like my team to take on this project moving forward, so I can uplevel. How should we best communicate this to your peer group?
- Instead of me, my team will be leading these events. How should we best inform your peers so they know to go to Susie instead of me?
THE FREE TIME TRAP
You have excused yourself from meetings you don’t need to be a part of and successfully delegated work. Now what? The mindset shift from “respond and react” to “think and plan” is challenging. One of my clients said it best: “I’m staring at a blank Word document that is supposed to be our annual strategic plan and I don’t know where to begin.” This space can feel disorienting and lead to the question, “If I’m not doing the visible work, then how am I adding value?”
The key is to turn non-doing into an opportunity for growth and clarity. Focus on creating value by developing a new expertise setting strategic goals and coaching your team to achieve them. Try reflecting on some basic questions like:
- What did our team accomplish in the last month? Quarter? Year?
- What opportunities exist in our organization or market? What threats may hinder our progress or ability to succeed?
- Do I have the talent on my team to accomplish our future goals and objectives?
- What does good coaching, development, or support look like to achieve our goals?
- What key relationships do I need to repair, retain, or cultivate to ensure we reach our team’s goals?
Breaking free from the expert trap requires you to redefine your value as a leader. The real measure of leadership is not in having all the answers but in cultivating the conditions for others to grow, contribute, and step into their own expertise.
As you navigate this transformation, ask yourself: “What legacy do I want to leave? Do I want to be the person who always had the answers or the leader who empowered others to find their own?”